Portal Shark 3381050b

In the wake of the Discovery Channel’s epic “Shark Week,” the twenty-eighth annual event dedicated to the blood thirstiest of all fish, surfer Mick Fanning was videotaped fending off a shark in the midst of the J-Bay Open competition at Jeffreys Bay, South Africa.


The incredible, without-a-scratch encounter (Fanning actually landed a punch on his assailant) is in sharp (no pun intended) contrast to the late author, Peter Benchley’s post Jaws conversion to shark conservationist.


Remember, though, that a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.


But what began as “Shark Week” hangover for me lead to a search and review mission, hunting down hundreds of shark jokes online. Seriously. Google “Shark Jokes,” and you’ll get 6,110,000 results. Here are a few that really kill:


Q: What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel
A: FINnegan's Wake


Q: What was the shark’s favorite Orson Welles movie
A: Citizen Kane-i-kokala


Q: Who was the shark's favorite 20th century art figure?
A: Marcel DuChomp


Q. Where do sharks go for vacation?

A. Finland.


Q: What is a shark’s favorite big band leader.

A: Tommy Dorsal


(Audience groans.)


Buh-dumpt-dumpt. I’ll be here all week.

By Ocean Navigator